Why I March

Yesterday women and men around the world came together in their cities to stand up for their rights, their beliefs and their values.  They came together in protest of the normalization of hate against women, people of color, people of different faiths, LGBTQ people, disabled people, and other marginalized populations in this country.  One statistic I saw today stated that 4.7 million people showed up in peaceful protest around the world and that there wasn't a single arrest.

I walked in a march in Westfield, NJ.  The walk was expected to attract 100-200 people.  At least one thousand people attended.  It was an amazing experience.  The Westfield Police Department closed roads and provided a safe route for the walkers.  The participants in the walk stood side by side while we gathered waiting for the walk to commence.  We all admired each others signs, took pictures and talked and laughed together.  When the walk started we were met with supportive honks from cars that were held to stand still to allow us to pass through.  Marchers chanted "Love trumps hate", "Women united can't be divided" and "Stronger Together."  The energy of love and peace in the air was palpable.  Despite the damp, cold weather, everyone's spirits were high.

I marched because, as a woman, I am held to a different standard of living than a man.

I march because at my daughter's public middle school, her dress code is so much stricter than that of the boy's.  She was told to wear boy shorts to gym.  She cannot wear leggings.  Her tank straps have to be a certain width.  Her headbands need to be a certain width.  The lesson that she is learning that, because boys are incapable of controlling themselves, she needs to monitor herself.  Not that these boys need to monitor themselves.

I marched because, as a woman leader, I am tired of my voice being drowned out when in the company of men.  I am tired of needing to control my temperament for fear of being called "too emotional" or "too sensitive" or "crazy" when a man is just "heated" or "passionate."

I march because I am disgusted that a woman can be brutally assaulted and raped and that the criminal who assaulted her served only 3 months in prison because it would ruin his life.

I march because I refuse to be disrespected by men who believe they can insult or belittle or objectify women through the way they address them.

I march because it is still a fact of life that a woman walking alone is fearful for her safety.

I march because people think that its ok to call a woman a whore.

I march because access to safe and affordable healthcare is a right, not a privelege.

I march because I empathize with anyone in this country who has been made to feel afraid, demeaned, or ashamed by how they look, how they worship, who they love, or where they came from.

I march because hate doesn't make anything great.

I march because love and compassion and empathy is the only way to greatness.

I march because together we ARE stronger.

I march for myself.  I march to take back any time that a man has caused me to feel fearful, ashamed, or not "something" enough because of my gender.  Because I demand the respect that I am owed because I am a human being.

I march. . .

Love Myself Boot Camp

If you are ready to declare your independence from the things in your life that are holding you back and preventing you from allowing happiness and love to flow freely then its time for you to join the #lovemyselfrevolution!  I am looking to recruit some SOULdiers into the Love Myself Army.  SOULdiers should be ready to commit to cultivating more love, happiness, peace and miracles in their lives.  Enrollment now open for the Love Myself Boot Camp pilot program.  This program is designed to help you love yourself more by nourishing your body, your mind and your spirit and finding the ways that you are blocking the flow of love into your life.  LMBC is an 8 week program that includes daily email inspiration, webinars, podcasts and one-on-one support.   If you are ready to join the revolution or need more information send me an email at lovemyselfrevolution@gmail.com.

#lovemyselfrevolution

So it's the start of a new year.  The time of year when promises to create a better version of ourselves fill our brains - along with advertisements from marketers on how they can help us be the best us ever!  New Years Resolutions at their core are promises to improve ourselves.  The most popular resolutions are losing weight, eating better, exercising more, spending less, quitting smoking, drinking less, traveling more, being more organized, and pursuing a hobby.  On January 1, millions of people make these promises to themselves.  However, according to Dr. John Agwunobi, chief health and nutrition officer for Herbalife, only about 8% of people who make resolutions actually see them through to their end goal. Year after year, resolutions go unfulfilled.  And I imagine that year after year people feel disappointed in themselves for not sticking to them.  They feel unhappy about their weight and wish that they had had the will power to stick to their diet all year.  They are stressed out about finances and regret that they were not more disciplined in their spending.  They still have that achy low back and wish that they had spent the time exercising and losing weight to help alleviate the pain.  Ultimately, the cycle of making and breaking resolutions is one that causes us to feel worse about ourselves because we take something that we already feel crappy about, i.e. smoking everyday, and compound it with guilt and anger about our own failure to do anything about it.  What started out as a way to love ourselves more ended up being a ticket to self sabotage.  We end up punishing ourselves for what we didn't accomplish rather than celebrating all that we experienced throughout the year.

I am a person who has set resolutions in the past and "failed."  In fact, I am not sure that I have ever made a resolution that I have seen through to fruition.  This year I am trying something different.  In my reading about love and self love, I came across a quote that read, "Loving yourself is the greatest revolution."  This was a very powerful statement for me and has stuck with me.  It was really the catalyst behind my delving deep into the notion of self love and the creation of the movement that I have started called the #lovemyselfrevolution.   I chose this name because I love that it can be read two different ways: as "Love Myself Revolution" or as "Love My Self-Revolution".  The name allows for us to love ourselves as we are, while also loving ourselves enough to transform into our highest selves, which is a revolutionary act.  The goal of #lovemyselfrevolution is to inspire us to celebrate all of the ways in which we are loving towards ourselves, in addition to celebrating the ways in which we are evolving.  I have started using #lovemyselfrevolution on all of my social media posts that celebrate me loving myself.  And because I believe that loving ourselves and allowing happiness to flow freely into lives requires us to be intentional and purposeful, I did these four things in place of a New Years Resolution and invite and encourage you to do the same:

1. Choose an Anchor Word: A definition of the word anchor is "that which gives stability or security."  We all know that an anchor is what keeps a vessel moored to the bottom of the sea to prevent it from drifting away.  So an Anchor Word is a word that represents that which forms the foundation of your being - that which helps to keep you grounded.  It represents the basis of your identity.  I chose the word "Love" as my anchor word for 2017.  Love towards myself and love towards others.

2. Choose an Intention Statement: An intention statement is one or two sentences which describe how you intend to live to allow happiness to flow freely into your life.  My intention statement is, "In 2017, I am going on a living spree.  All that I do flows from love and supports living life in the most open, limitless, enriching way possible."

3. Choose an affirmation/ mantra: I have created a series of phrases that I have begun using during meditation, yoga or at times when I am not feeling grounded.  It serves to remind me of my anchor word and of my intention.  My affirmation is "I love myself.  I nourish my body.  I nourish my mind. I nourish my soul."  Repeating these phrases while connecting with my breath allows me to be present in the moment and to be in vibration with my intentions and purpose.

4. Create a "bucket list": when I went to yoga earlier this week the instructor handed out a sheet of paper with space for us to list 10 things that we want to do in 2017 and suggested we include the month in or by which we would complete it.  I loved this activity and felt like it really aligned with the other things I had chosen to do to kick off the new year.  In creating my list, I kept my anchor word, intention and affirmation in mind.  Here is what I am up with:

• Start a business (October)
• Hike through a rainforest (February)
• Run a 1/2 marathon in less than 3 hours (April)
• Wear "the dress" this summer (August)
• Visit a sunflower farm (August)
• Get a Himalayan Salt Lamp (March)
• Go to the San Diego Zoo (spring)
• Make cauliflower crust pizza (January - I did this one last night!!)
• Meditate on a mountain (June)
• Go on a solo weekend retreat (November)

I am extremely excited for 2017.  Creating these statements, words and lists has allowed me to celebrate life and inspired me to set a blueprint for allowing my happiness to flow freely.  I feel as though I am starting the year from a place of love instead of a place of fear about being overweight and failing to do anything about it.  I feel empowered and filled with positive energy.  I love myself and I want to create a life that nurtures that self love- not one that blocks it.  

I am also excited to share this with you.  I want to inspire you to love yourself and to create a life which allows your happiness to flow.  I want you to feel empowered and filled with positive energy.  If you decide to join me on this journey, I invite you to share your statements and lists on social media, to post pictures that depict you loving yourself, and to use #lovemyselfrevolution.  I would love at the end of the year to do a search on that hashtag and see all of the ways in which we all loved ourselves in 2017!!  

The Journey of Loving Yourself

Over the course of the past several years, I have become an advocate for self love.  Through many experiences, both beautiful and painful, the lesson that has emerged time and time again is that loving myself unconditionally is the root of my happiness.  No person, circumstance, object or place can cause me to be happy.  I must achieve happiness by completely and unequivocally loving myself.  This realization has caused me to dig deep into my soul to be honest with myself about the ways that I am NOT loving myself.  I have painstakingly examined decisions, relationships, behaviors and thought patterns about myself that are not loving.  It has been an amazing, miraculous journey, and, at times, extremely painful.

I have learned so much about myself, about unconditional love, and about other people throughout this process.  I have started to observe others in a compassionate light and see that the behaviors of so many people are borne of fear - and of not fully loving and accepting themselves.  The truth is that I don't think that people understand what it means to love themselves.  We absorb so much noise from the world around us - from the media, from cultural traditions, from the opinions of others.  We are told that we aren't good enough the way we are.  We are sold products to make us thinner, younger, richer, smarter, better.  And so we live in pursuit of the perfection that we are sold everyday.  But perfect doesn't exist. Intellectually we know that. However, emotionally and spiritually we are feeling gutted because we are subconsciously, or even consciously, trying to find happiness outside of us.  In her famous TED Talk, Brene Brown says,  "We are the most in-debt, obese, addicted, and medicated adult cohort in U. S. history." We are spending more money than ever on products, food, medicine, alcohol and drugs in the pursuit of happiness.  We have convinced ourselves that if we were thinner or if we could find a boyfriend or if our home looked like a page of a Pottery Barn catalog, that we will have achieved happiness.  However, as Brene Brown points out, we are simply "numbing those hard feelings." In the pursuit of perfection, aka happiness, we are actually creating circumstances that ultimately make us feel inadequate and less happy because we are using someone else's standards as the basis of our own happiness.

So how do we truly love ourselves?  What are things that we can do to genuinely show ourselves unconditional love in our lives?  These are the questions that I have been asking myself.  I have been doing a lot of reading and research on love and self-love.  I have learned so much and have had my eyes and, more importantly, my heart and soul opened to what it truly means to love oneself and why it often feels hard to love ourselves.  There are so many layers to these questions and though, in retrospect, they seem simple, the world in which we live has made it more complicated.

I started this blog five years ago as a way to explore this issue, however, at the time I lacked clarity and some life experience to fully understand that these are the questions my soul was urging me to explore.  I called it Create Your Sanctuary because I intuitively knew that we are all the masters of our own happiness and that we need to create our own sacred spaces in our lives in which we can flourish.  Over the course of the past five years I have truly come to realize that we must design the life we wish to live.  We need to have a clear vision of our authentic selves, not who the world is telling us to be, and we need to be purposeful and intentional in the choices we make to allow ourselves to become that person.  Through my blog, and other social media outlets, I will share the process of my awakening and becoming and hope that what I share allows you to become your true self.  Thank you for joining the journey!