I Love to Laugh

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person." - Audrey Hepburn

If you have spent any time with me, you know that I love to laugh.  You also know that I have a very boisterous (ok, loud) laugh.  When I was in high school, I was voted "Best Laugh" in the senior class poll.  Laughing is a part of who I am.  So is being silly.  (See the photo above).  Throughout my life, I have been attracted to fun-loving, silly, funny people.  If you make me laugh, you've got a friend.  So why is laughing so important?

I am a person who craves connection.  I love connecting with people.  I love reconnecting with old friends.  Sharing meaningful experiences with other people is what makes me tick.  I do a lot of volunteer work with my sorority and at my daughter's school.  While I am partly motivated by the desire to help, it is really my need to connect with people that drives me to stay involved.  Having something in common with someone is very important to me - probably also the reason that I joined a sorority in the first place and continue to be involved 17 years after I was initiated.  For me, one of the strongest ways to connect with other people is through laughter.  Laughter serves as an ice breaker in any situation.  When I laugh with someone, I feel as though I've made an instant connection with that person even if the person is a stranger.  Sharing a good laugh with someone opens the door for a deeper, more meaningful interaction.  Laughing makes me lower me guard.  And when I laugh with someone, it usually means that the other person shares a similar sense of humor to mine - a common bond.

A good laugh can also help me completely turn a bad mood around.  A few nights ago, I was in a bad mood (see my previous post).  I felt grumpy, tense, tired and down in the dumps.  But a funny comment that I read on Facebook got me laughing - really hard.  The tears-rolling-down-my-cheeks type of laughter.  Laughing was therapeutic.  It made me feel lighter, happier and more carefree.  Turns out that laughing helps stimulate endorphin release, as well as blood flow and heart rate.  Exercise does the same thing.  Hearty bouts of laughter, therefore, can make you feel as good as if you had just done a mild workout.  Studies have shown that the physical changes that your body undergoes during laughter can help to relieve stress, soothe tension, improve your immune system, relieve pain, and increase personal satisfaction.   So laughing at that Facebook post prompted a physiological change in me that actually helped to cheer me up. 

I am an optimistic person.  Some of that may be genetic.  Some of that may be because my life has been filled with love and kindness from other people.  But I am sure that my tendency to surround myself with really fun people with really great senses of humor has a lot to do with it, as well.  I am thankful for my funny friends and family members who keep me laughing.  Laughing with them is one of the greatest joys in my life.  I know that at the end of my life, I will be able to look back on it with a smile because of the wonderful memories, mostly including laughter, that I have shared with the people in it.  

Its important to laugh every day.  If you aren't laughing everyday, that needs to change immediately.  Start scheduling lunch or phone calls with some friends who make you laugh.  Watch a funny movie.  "Like" George Take on Facebook (his posts make me laugh everyday).  Make laughing everyday a priority. Its really good for you!!

Bad Mood

I was in a bad mood this weekend.  Actually, more of a sad mood.  I was suffering from a case of the blahs.  And for those who know me well, you know that I am generally a cheerful person.  I am the person who points out the silver lining and who tries to cajole grumpy people into cheering up.  I don't like it when people in my life are unhappy and take it upon myself to try to make them find something to be happy about.  So when I get down in the dumps, it is unusual.  I couldn't pinpoint why I was feeling so down.  But I couldn't talk myself out of it and the attempts by others to help me perk up, while greatly appreciated, didn't really do the trick either.   Fortunately, after a day or so, the blues just sort of wandered off. But now that I've emerged from the doldrums I want to understand where they came from and why I wasn't able to shake them off.  Here is what I came up with:

1. There was really not one thing that contributed to my mood.  I think it was a combination of the following things: I was getting a cold, not sleeping well, not really eating great or exercising as much because I didn't feel great.  I am pretty sure that it was a bunch of physical factors that sent me to Grumpville.

2. I felt entitled to be in a bad mood.  Since I am not often in one, I felt as though I had the right to have a bad day.  I mean, who doesn't have that right?  We are all human and, therefore, imperfect.  And expressing our feelings is very healthy.  But the problem is that once I decided that I was entitled to be in a bad mood I essentially allowed my bad mood to continue on it course.  Without realizing it, I was subconsciously deciding to be in a bad mood.

3. Since I was in a bad mood, I was focusing on the negative and became fixated on things over which I have no control.  This made my bad mood snow ball into an even worse mood and made me feel overwhelmed and stressed out.  Sounds pleasant, right?

4. I ignored my own best advice.  Although I knew intellectually how to get myself out of my mood, emotionally I was choosing to embrace it.  So rather than seeking out some quiet time to breathe and reflect or refocusing my mind to more positive thoughts, I just sat and dwelled in my own temporary, self-inflicted misery.  I didn't want to cheer up so I told the part of me that was trying to be the voice of reason to shut the hell up.

The bottom line: I was responsible for getting into my bad mood and was responsible for allowing it to linger.  I don't want to be a nasty person - you know the type that snaps at her daughters first thing in the morning because they are bickering over which television show to watch.  (Yes - this mood brought out my ugly side a couple of times.)  Next time I will try to remember this weekend and what I learned from it and will try harder to not let my emotions run amok.  I am sure that my loved ones will appreciate it!

And I guess now would be a good time to apologize to the people who had to endure my mood. Oops. . . sorry.