Today's Kids are NOT "screwed"!!

I have grown extremely tired of reading articles and blogs that criticize how our current generation parents and how our current generation  of children are being raised.  Every single day I read something, somewhere, that insists that we are ruining our children because we hover too much and reward them for insignificant achievements and don't encourage creative play.  And following these articles and blog posts are countless comments applauding the author for their observations and nodding in such agreement that I can almost hear it.  Comments like "I couldn't have said it better myself" or "Love this post!" or "I wish I could like this a million times" flow freely off the fingertips of parents who seemingly agree that American society, in general, has collectively screwed our children and any shot they have of being a normal functioning adult.  These comments are usually qualified by some subsequent statements about what they expect from their children and how their parent-styling is far more laid back and that they expect their children to occupy themselves, etc.  So apparently the people who write these articles, read them and/ or comment on them are not a part of "the problem".

I used to read these articles, agree with some of the points and disagree with others and then move on with my day.  But lately I have become so sick of it all.  I am so sick of the judgment.  I am sick of people looking at this generation of children and not being optimistic about them.  Because the young people who I know make me feel hopeful.  In my work as a sorority advisor, I watched as 18-22 year-old women grew tired of the old "traditions" of hazing and worked extremely hard to change those traditions into traditions of service, leadership and excellence.  They sacrificed friendships, sleep and fun, at times, to take a stand against people who refused to change and who became bullies to them.  Despite their youth and lack of life experience, I saw them make really difficult decisions for the greater good of the organization.  In my work as a Girl Scout leader, I see Girl Scout troops in my community working together to support one another, to provide service to the community and to learn about the world around them.  These are girls who are kind to one another, who think about the consequences of their actions and who have aspirations to make a difference in the world in which we live.  As an active member of the PTA, I am often in school and witness the students working together on projects to help promote kindness and respect in school and to make sure that no student is bullied.  These children are kind. They are innocent.  And, not to sound cliche, they ARE the future.

So ultimately I guess my response to the authors of these accusatory articles and blogs and their supporters is this: You are not responsible for an entire future generation of adults.  You are not responsible for how our entire generation parents.  You are responsible for how you raise your own children.  You are responsible for the things you say to your children, for how you treat your children and for the lessons you teach your children.  If you come in contact with other children in your community, you are responsible for the things that you say to them, for how you treat them, and for the lessons that you teach them.  Can you say with confidence and truthfulness that you are doing your best as a parent to teach your child to be kind to others, to  make a positive contribution to society, to value service to others, and to not judge others?  Because those are the lessons that really matter.  And while parenting styles to teach those lessons may differ from person to person, that the lessons are taught and that they stick is really what is important here.  If you continue to preach the message that our children are screwed because we suck as parents, then it is likely that that is the message that you are teaching to your kids.  It is likely that the message your kids are hearing is that it is okay to judge other people.  Because let's be honest, most people aren't going to change the opinions or behaviors of an entire generation through a blog post.  The only behaviors they have any chance on impacting is that of their own children and maybe the children who they coach or advise or teach, etc.  If everyone does their best to teach their own children kindness and respect and acceptance and love, then the future will be a pretty great place.

"When you judge others, you don't define them, you define yourself!" - Wayne Dyer