"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." ~ 1 Corinthians 13
Yesterday the Appeals Court in the state of California struck down Prop 8, which banned gay marriage, declaring it unconstitutional. Several other states are working on legislation that would legalize gay marriage. A spokeswoman for Minnesotans United for All Families said, "There's no reason for government to restrict the freedom to marry." I actually find it very sad that there are people in this country who have found the person with whom they want to spend the rest of their lives who are being denied this basic freedom. Loving others and being loved in return is the very essence of being human. It really is that simple. Imagine a world where love was the common currency we all used rather than fear, hate and judgment. But everywhere we turn, these things surround us. I am a member of the PTA at my daughter's school. At the beginning of the school year, I started a new committee, the Respect Committee, of which I am currently the chairperson. The purpose of the Respect Committee is to help the teachers execute the state-mandated curriculum which was introduced as part of new anti-bullying legislation that took effect in New Jersey in September 2011. But rather than teaching how not to be a bully or how to know if you are being bullied, we are focusing on character education. We are trying to teach the kids to have confidence, to have respect for everyone regardless of who they are, and to be kind, compassionate, tolerant people. We are trying to do anything we can to make a difference in the lives of these children. But its hard. Its hard when you stand on the playground after school and hear parents passing judgment on other parents or even on other children. Its hard to teach a message of acceptance and that our differences should be treasured rather than berated when children are surrounded by messages of intolerance. Like gays not being able to marry. Like a classmate being looked down upon because of how they look or act. Like adults not speaking to one another because they don't see eye to eye. Where is the love in these acts? I have been blessed with a lot of love in my life. Love from family members, friends, teachers, coaches, sorority sisters, neighbors. My cup runneth over. And I will let that love spill freely to those around me, especially my children. But more importantly I want to teach them to give their love to others - freely and without fear. Acts of love fill the hearts and soothe the spirits of other people. There is no more important accomplishment that I can think of than making a difference in someone's day because I showed them love - through a kind gesture, word, hug, kiss, smile. And when you deny someone love, you deny yourself love, as well. You have put a limit on how much love you are willing to let into your heart and soul. But love is limitless. Fear, judgment and hate place these made-up limits on how much love people are willing to let into their lives. Fear, judgment and hate, in the case of gay marriage, is placing limits on how people can show their love. Stop living with fear, judgment, and hate. Open your heart. Be good to people. Embrace who they are instead of criticizing who they are not. Free yourself of limits. Allow peace to occupy your heart. Live a life of love.
Beautifully written Amy. I've always told my kids, you don't have to like everyone but you do have to be kind to everyone. For Christians this is the essence of what Jesus taught us. Your Bible quote is also very special to Tri Deltas. It is the way I try to live, but I do acknowledge that it is a struggle for most humans. Those who feel poorly about themselves look for someone to criticize or bully in order to make them feel more powerful. Your work with the PTA and school seems a very good step in the right direction. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteVery well said Amy! Bullying is ridiculous and I'm constantly talking to Summer about it. Character building is the essence of solving the bullying issue. You're definitely on the right track. In regards to your other point about gay marriage I think a lot of the problem is that the understanding needs to come from both sides of the argument. I am a Christian but I'm also libertarian in my thinking that we shouldn't use the police power of the government to say who can and who can't be married. There are bigger issues facing this country. I always say that if our generation doesn't allow gays to marry their loved ones then the next generation will. So stop trying to stop what is inevitable! I don't understand how a small percentage of the population marrying the same sex affects my life so I have no issues with gays marrying each other. Living here in the South I have met some older people who lived in Mississippi during the 50's and 60's. I have always been amazed that such a short time ago the government used it's police power to segregate people and that many just accepted it to be a normal occurrence. It seems ridiculous to us today to believe that people couldn't drink out of the same fountain at a point in time! But they did! The same will one day be said in regards to gay marriage, but the only way to get there is by having both sides agree on some basic principles. Just because government recognizes gay marriage doesn't mean that religious institutions have to be forced to perform gay weddings. It's a tolerance principle that goes both ways. There is a fear in many churches that the government will use its powers to force pastors to perform gay weddings thus going completely against their beliefs. My point is that one side should not need the approval or disapproval of the other. It's liberty and not freedom. It's about recognizing what matters most and being tolerant of the other side of the issue. Really enjoyed reading your post... again! lol
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