Bad Mood

I was in a bad mood this weekend.  Actually, more of a sad mood.  I was suffering from a case of the blahs.  And for those who know me well, you know that I am generally a cheerful person.  I am the person who points out the silver lining and who tries to cajole grumpy people into cheering up.  I don't like it when people in my life are unhappy and take it upon myself to try to make them find something to be happy about.  So when I get down in the dumps, it is unusual.  I couldn't pinpoint why I was feeling so down.  But I couldn't talk myself out of it and the attempts by others to help me perk up, while greatly appreciated, didn't really do the trick either.   Fortunately, after a day or so, the blues just sort of wandered off. But now that I've emerged from the doldrums I want to understand where they came from and why I wasn't able to shake them off.  Here is what I came up with:

1. There was really not one thing that contributed to my mood.  I think it was a combination of the following things: I was getting a cold, not sleeping well, not really eating great or exercising as much because I didn't feel great.  I am pretty sure that it was a bunch of physical factors that sent me to Grumpville.

2. I felt entitled to be in a bad mood.  Since I am not often in one, I felt as though I had the right to have a bad day.  I mean, who doesn't have that right?  We are all human and, therefore, imperfect.  And expressing our feelings is very healthy.  But the problem is that once I decided that I was entitled to be in a bad mood I essentially allowed my bad mood to continue on it course.  Without realizing it, I was subconsciously deciding to be in a bad mood.

3. Since I was in a bad mood, I was focusing on the negative and became fixated on things over which I have no control.  This made my bad mood snow ball into an even worse mood and made me feel overwhelmed and stressed out.  Sounds pleasant, right?

4. I ignored my own best advice.  Although I knew intellectually how to get myself out of my mood, emotionally I was choosing to embrace it.  So rather than seeking out some quiet time to breathe and reflect or refocusing my mind to more positive thoughts, I just sat and dwelled in my own temporary, self-inflicted misery.  I didn't want to cheer up so I told the part of me that was trying to be the voice of reason to shut the hell up.

The bottom line: I was responsible for getting into my bad mood and was responsible for allowing it to linger.  I don't want to be a nasty person - you know the type that snaps at her daughters first thing in the morning because they are bickering over which television show to watch.  (Yes - this mood brought out my ugly side a couple of times.)  Next time I will try to remember this weekend and what I learned from it and will try harder to not let my emotions run amok.  I am sure that my loved ones will appreciate it!

And I guess now would be a good time to apologize to the people who had to endure my mood. Oops. . . sorry.